What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married? Feyoncé.Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like banana.How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb? Let’s go play on our bikes.What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror.Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and asks “How do you drive this thing?”Why can’t a bike stand on its own? It’s two tired.Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? Because he was too far out man!Last night I almost had a threesome, I only needed two more people!What do you call a big pile of kittens? A meowntain.Just went to an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.PMS should just be called ovary-acting.Marketing companies should use chromosomes. .... well ....."down there" if you get me. Now Andy's not one of the really big and welldeveloped guys, at least not yet anyway, but toward the end of the schoolyear, he was now about an inch taller than me, and a good twenty orpounds heavier. Oh well, there's probably not much I can do about itother than just waiting till my body decides to catch up.When I first stopped shampooing my hair at home, I'd thought that maybe Icould do it in the showers after Phys Ed, but that didn't work out. Like,the school does provide these tiny "motel" bars of soap, but the kidshave broken off all the soap trays in the showers so the little bars ofsoap are just tossed on the floor of the shower. And the floor itself iskind of black and slimy in areas, especially in the corners of the showerroom. And then as I was getting ready to pick up one of the cleaner barsof soap to shampoo my hair, I started thinking about how it had probablybeen stepped on by a bunch of boys with major cases of Athlete's Foot.
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